When do you give up on someone? When do you finally say enough is enough and just cut the person loose? I guess it’s subjective to everyone and every different situation, but I have a really hard time with making this decision. I find it extremely difficult to give up on another human being – especially one that I’ve been close to for a long time or entangled with on and off for a long period of time. I am getting tired of people telling me just to get away from him. He takes care of me when I don't feel well; he talks to me when I'm lonely. These people aren't offering an alternative - my mom is the worst - let's get rid of your car, your house, you get rid of him and then I'll be out of town half the year when you need someone - but I can be there for you, I promise. I know he's not good for me on the whole. I know that he could be, and has been, a better person. I just don't know what I'd do without my best friend. If he makes it through the whole 30 days of the program, I am going to give him one more chance. If he doesn't go into the program or falls right back into his previous lifestyle when he returns - that's the end of it. I have my own deadline - and this feels like the right thing to do.
My mother was incredibly rude to me on Monday. We had talked last week, and we were discussing all of the jobs that I’ve applied for – and I mentioned to her that I would probably have to go to a temporary agency this week and that I had heard of a newer one that seems to get results. My roommate/best friend was supposed to be checked into a 28-day program on Monday for his drinking problem. He’s finally admitted to everyone that he can’t stop. Before now, it’s always “I can stop any time I want to, etc…” Once you walk away from three jobs, lie about money, hide alcohol, have disturbing liver results come up from a blood test – you would think that would all finally add up and point to the fact that there is a problem. Regardless, this is the very first time that he has admitted to someone that he cannot stop, and that he needs help. He’s been sober for 3 excruciating days. He has to stay sober until they check him in, or they won’t check him in – a “bed” is going to be open this Thursday or this next coming Monday. I then have a 30 day reprieve to decide what I want to do. I swear if I felt better, I would just get out of here – go to a new state – a new start – just get out of here. I hate this state; I’m only staying because I’m licensed here and my law license is basically useless currently anyway. I called my mother to let her know that he wouldn’t be checking in until next Monday (she was going to catch up all my utilities and make plans so that I could find another house to mortgage and live in while he’s gone) – and she was asking me if I was ready to go to Staffmark. I have no idea what she was talking about. One, I never planned on going with her – I don’t need a babysitter – I’ve applied for two handfuls of jobs already. Two, I never even mentioned Staffmark. Three, I never mentioned which day that I was going to go – some require appointments. She just flipped out and started being rude – I have no idea what was wrong with her. She’s the one who promised that she and her husband would help me make small repairs and paint and clean up so I can sell this monstrosity of a house. She hasn’t been here one time in 3 months, since she made that promise. I guess her and her husband had some type of disagreement about the “situation” with me, and she decided to call and take it out on me right before she leaves for yet another vacation – this time leaving a day before her birthday which is on Valentine’s Day. This was just insane – I hate when someone gets mad at me out of the blue; I like to know what I did wrong. I got really upset and her new trick is to hang up on me, and then I leave a bunch of messages after she turns off her phone. After I calmed down, I think I slept for about 10 hours straight. She took whatever mental/emotional energy I had left and just squashed it. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that hard.
I’m making perfume pendants for Valentine’s Day for my loved ones. They are really sweet little vials with corks in which you can twist wire around them and attach beads – you put the perfume oil in them (the corks function as diffusers) and can hang these around your neck as a pendant or use in your car as a car freshener. Mine is going to have a black heart and rose on it. My sister-in-law’s has a butterfly. And, for my mom’s vial – I bought iridescent wavy leaves and natural looking beads. I was trying to make each vial for everyone’s specific personality.
I had a *really* good time at a Valentine’s Day party that I attended last weekend. This was the first time I’ve been feeling well enough to get dressed up, dance, flirt – and just be my silly self in general. I made the mistake of not eating (I didn’t want to risk getting sick…hey, I had a new dress…laugh) – and drinking on top of an empty stomach. The nausea scared me for a few minutes – but I danced it off. I even behaved :D (mostly…kind of….at least 65%...hehe). I’ve been wanting to try a lemon drop shot for awhile now – but the bartender didn’t put sugar around the rim like you’re supposed to in order to counter the sourness of the lemon juice – so I’m going to try one again at a better bar sometime ;)
There is another bath-oriented website that I like called Isle of Eden ~click here if you want to see~ - I ordered a whipped bath cream that is just the most decadent thing that I’ve ever slid over my body (hehe...note the word over...grin) – it’s a rich white chocolate scent and I keep trying not to use it, so I won’t run out. I also purchased a sampler of their perfume oils – I like the smell of the oils but they are just kind of “normal” in comparison to my beloved Black Phoenix Alchemy Oils – but at least I’ve learned some scents that I want to get body creams in – definitely definitely have never felt bath creams so rich – can’t wait to get more when I’m finally gainfully employed again. Some of the scents that I want to try in bath creams (descriptions borrowed from the site):
Can'tSleep, Clowns Will Eat Me!
You'll smell it all! Pink Cotton Candy, Funnel Cake, and Delicious Candied Red Apple! An Isle of Eden exclusive.
A Princess on 7 Strawberry Lane
7 Strawberry Lane™ + A blend of lady apple, water lily, mandarin meringue, golden apricot skin, sheer floral notes, touched with dark chocolate, and ending with pink frosting, amber, warm woods, musk, and vanilla. Adding 7 Strawberry Lane™ to this (already smashing scent) just made it even more amazing. An Isle of Eden exclusive.
Wolf Bait
Proof that little girls shouldn’t go walking through the woods alone. Based on “Little Red Riding Hood,” this scent is good enough to eat. It contains rich brown sugar, pink sugar, and yummy good sugar cookies, which adds just a hint of spice. What more would any wolf want? An Isle of Eden exclusive.
And, yes…I always smell good…(hehe)…want proof? ;)
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