I am in the 8th hour of the most amazing migraine headache. I haven't had a migraine for probably 3 years. The last time I had one it took a couple of days short of a month to get rid of and three emergency room visits. The last visit they finally decided to give me a spinal tap to make sure that there wasn't a bleed in my brain, since my headace wasn't responding to any type of medication. I'll never forget that for two reasons. One, it was my birthday. Two, the nurse told me if I couldn't hold it for four hours which is the amount of time that you have to lay still for 4 hours after the procedure that she would have to run a catheter. My family doctor finally figured out that my migraine was caused by severe indigestion (big surprise), and that if I could get my stomach under control, which was really hard to do because the stomach problem would trigger the migraine and then the migraine would make me nauseous and in more stomach distress, that I could get my migraine under control. I've taken an amazing amount of medication today trying to fight this thing, including 2 Vicodin which I am prescribed for severe stomach cramping; yet, it's still here. I keep playing Family Feud which I don't remember sucking at so much as I apparently do. Some of the questions are phrased funny or I'll type an answer and it's just using a different word so the computer doesn't recognize it - it's pissing me off. I'm trying to keep my brain distracted, since it's typically my worst enemy. If I can't beat this with the next round of pain killers, I'm going to have to try to rouse my roommate (which is going to be impossible since he was drinking with his friend and is passed out cold) or call my brother 15 times until he hears the phone and make him take me to the ER. I am not going by myself. I just keep feeling the pressure like my brain is just going to explode. I used to have a friend that had migraines so bad, that he would throw up immediately and then pass out about 30 minutes into them and sleep for hours. He told me that he had to pull over on the side of the road one time in his car. That would scare the hell out of me but at least you would get to sleep through the majority of the pain.
One of my friends knocked tonight, but I made my roommate answer and tell him that I wasn't here. I've had wet washcloths on my head all night, and my hair, thus, is all curly, and I look scary. I didn't want to face anyone tonight. You know I don't feel well if I can't even get make-up on. I'm a make-up junkie; I love to play with the colors and use different techniques to slightly alter the features of my face or others' faces. I need more make-up modeling dummies around. I used to get excited when I was younger, and my brother and his friends would choose that year to dress up as women for Halloween. I would get to do all of their make-up and hair. Although, one of the last years that they did this they all decided to keep their facial hair which was really disgusting. It's not as much fun to try to put make-up over facial hair. Plus, we went out to eat at Outback and hardly anyone, except for the staff, were dressed up - so everyone kept laughing at us and/or trying not to look in the direction of our table.
I tried shopping for awhile to distract myself. I purchased two perfume samples. One is a mixture of vanilla, mango, musk, and berry and sounds really interesting. The other is a perfume that I used to own a long time ago. I also got a sparkly, skull necklace. I really wanted the pink one, but I kept getting outbid on it. I finally just settled on the one with clear crystals. I saw "Ice Age 2" this week which was really cute; although, there were a lot more religious references than in the original Ice Age which I found surprising. Most notably, there was a play on Noah's Ark when the animals were trying to travel to the "big boat" before the ice melted which was really a huge, old half of a tree that resembled a large piece of driftwood. I love animated movies that have that mixture of slapstick humor, to appeal to children or the "child" in adults, and the adult innuendos to appeal to an older audience.
I saw "Proof" earlier in the week too which was one of those make you think movies. I usually don't watch movies that I know are going to be sad, but every time I was at Blockbuster it was always rented - all of them - so it piqued my curiousity (how I get into trouble every single time). It made some reference to a saying that I have heard before how people that are truly crazy don't ever stop to question whether they are indeed crazy. Everyone has those few, maybe one, moment(s) in his or her life where something surreal is occurring or where things just don't feel quite right, and you question your sanity - maybe only for a split second. I hope this theory is the case, because I've had a few moments like that. Mainly, when I first went through the diagnosis for my IBS (b/c I was so sick and no one could tell me why and I knew that my family thought that it was all in my head b/c there really aren't a lot of physical symptoms that one can see). I've noticed that's often a problem in the health care field also. Some doctors seem to always treat you more compassionately if you are bleeding or have something broken versus when you are suffering from something internal that you have to describe. Maybe it's some element of distruct in the patients. I also always hear that definition of crazy being if you do the same thing over and over and expect different results. I've thought about this a lot, because I do make the same mistakes over sometimes. But, this is mainly with people and not static situations. I trust people that I shouldn't, but each person isn't the same, so I don't think that this fits the idea of the theory. Either way, I'm covered under the crazy exclusion under the first theory (grin).
I had a friend message me earlier in the week and immediately start making sexual references and not subtlely hinting that he wanted to come over. I directly (yes, I was direct...shocking) told him that I wasn't feeling well so I was just going to rest that night. He started telling me that he could make my stomach feel better. Umm...I love sex, but that is not going to make my stomach feel better. Jostling around just never works. I really got mad, but my doctor has given me a new anti-spasmodic medication for stomach cramping and it appears to act as a sedative too, and even though the typical desire to tell him off was still present - I just didn't have the desire to put all that energy into something that wasn't worth it. I told him thanks for his concern and added him to the legions in my ignore list. I logged on the next morning - I had trouble sleeping, visibly for about 2 seconds, and he had the gall to message me and ask me if I wanted some morning entertainment. I mean, what the hell is wrong with people. (It may be helpful to note that my ignore function does not work for some reason. Even though I clear my list out so there is room for more periodically, if I put someone on ignore, the next time that I log in - that person isn't on ignore any longer). It's very frustrating.
I ran into an older friend this past weekend while I was out. I never thought I'd see him again. He's an amazing kisser, and even further makes me wonder what has happened to all of the good kissers. My mouth is typically soft (yes, even with all the trash that I talk...laugh) and his is soft - and it's an interesting combination. I'm getting tingles just thinking about it.
One of my cats ran over my bare back for some reason and scratched me. I still feel the headache but my back is burning too and taking some of the focus off of my head. It reminds me of Major Payne where he "gives them a little something to take their minds off that pain" and proceeds to twist their finger in painful ways. And, yes, I'm done now - aren't you glad? Maybe I'll come back and fix all the grammatical mistakes that are threading through this blog (codeine makes your mind fuzzy) later.
