I do things sometimes - and I think later - that is so unlike me or so out of character. But, since I think this multiple times - it made me question it - are those things really out of character for me? Or, are they pretty much in character or in sync with who I am but are parts of myself that I don’t readily accept as parts of me? Or, parts of myself that I don't admit to comprising of my character? Do I want to be the person that doesn't do those things? Do I want to be the person that admits to doing those things and accepts that certain activities or certain words that come out of her mouth are a part of who she is? I have absolutely no idea - I'm thinking on this - obviously, there are some settings that I could never exhibit some of these characteristics in (no, not just naughty...I know what you're thinking...hehe) but even saying exactly what you're thinking - no matter how venomous (although accurate) what you're thinking of saying is – is it always ok to say exactly what you think? Obviously, you can – as in you have the ability to do so – but the consequences to doing so clearly wouldn’t be always be worth the satisfaction you would get in saying exactly what you think in some settings.
One of my cats is stuck or floundering in the big box that an extra fan for my house came in – I’m debating on whether or not to rescue him – I set the box up against the wall so they would quit playing (i.e. fighting) in it and so I could take it downstairs to dispose of it – it’s only June and already so hot that the air conditioning feels like it’s just not doing it. I really hate hot weather – I already miss winter. My reasoning is that I set the box up, and he thought it was funny to knock it down – so he should have to sit there for a few minutes (hehe) Cats are wiley – they hardly ever get permanently stuck. Sometimes, I wish I was a spoiled cat.
I’ve totally changed my mind on Lush bath and body products – I now know why people go so crazy over them. The soaps are to die for – such as Honey, I washed the kids (honey candy smell and really creamy) and Rockstar (pure pink candy smell) – the bubble bars are my absolute fave now. They are solid bars that look like soap but turn into mountain of bubbles when you throw a piece into the bath. I used “Sunnyside” today which has a really soft orange citrusy smell, and, although I was worried about the gold glittery substance on the outside, it only made my bathwater into swirls of golden rivers and didn’t leave any of it on my body. I haven’t found a man yet that doesn’t like the Demon in the Dark soap – it’s wickedly dark green and black and has the most amazing smell – peppermint and clove – description follows:
Beneath the black wax exterior* lurks a refreshing apple juice and mint soap explosion of devious proportions. It will terrorize you from the depths of drowsiness unleashing a revitalized you form a previously comatose state.
I swear I give this to men just so that I can smell this on them. I got a package the other day where something wasn’t labeled and it was soap-shaped, and I handed it off to my roommate. I have a tart burner and tarts are usually shaped a certain way – and this one just didn’t give a clue to its tartness. He came back after his shower and told me that he thought it was a candle tart and not soap – which is clearly was – I almost peed on myself it was so funny. He was trying to underplay it, so I wouldn’t die laughing – no one gives me the satisfaction of cracking up anymore :P It reminded me of the time that my dad started yelling from the shower for my mom, when I was a little kid, and told her the "soap" wasn't working (he was blind as a bat w/out his glasses) - he was trying to soap up with a barbie head with all of its hair off for some reason (read: brother cut it all off to be obnoxious). Things were never dull in my household.
I used to have a dream when I was a kid of a house – I’m going into the house in the dream, so I never see the outside, and there’s a “horseshoe” type staircase and a chandelier hanging down – the house is clearly very old. A part of the dream has to do with me finding a “secret” part of the house that no one else (except for the previous owners who are now gone for some reason) knew about. I may have to move about 40 minutes away from Little Rock, since I have to get out of this house to make repairs to it – finish painting the floors, etc – in order to sell it. It’s so stupid to sit on a house that I clearly can’t afford currently that is worth a decent amount of money b/c of the neighborhood and size – I just want to get out of here – so, I can come back and make repairs to sell it. Let’s see – let the bank take it for a loan that is approximately 50% of the value of the house or put a couple of thousand and some hard work into it and sell it for twice the value. Certain members of my family were obviously just a bunch of talk when they claimed they would help me get it ready to sell – and, now I’m a bind – I’m having trouble sleeping – having nightmares – it’s disconcerting. Anyway, my on and off again person – his family has this house that’s just sitting there. It was built in the 1800’s and used as a make-shift civil war hospital. It has history – it’s supposedly haunted (cats scare away spirits, right? Hehe) – the roof is a mess though and the yard – the former more expensive to fix. But, it’s a big house and interesting – although, his relatives that can let us in or give us permission to make sure it’s structurally sound are out of town right now. I just want to get into it and see if it’s the house that I use to dream about – my roommate said it has a lot of the features that are in my dream – including a “secret” basement that he was never allowed into as a kid. The really disappointing part is that his family sold off a lot of the plots around it – it used to sit on pretty many acres – so there are trailers, etc (*not* kept in good condition) all around this gorgeous house that is being neglected and is just being left to sit and rot away. I’m not good with close neighbors especially in a small town. It’s just an eerie feeling altogether knowing that I have to leave this house – b/c this house is home. I know home is where my pets are (hehe) – but this is the first house I’ve felt at home in since I was a kid and we lived in the same house for 20+ years. I need that security – I’m not good with everything falling out from under me at the same time.
