Friday, September 19, 2008

"Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?"


My mom's gallbladder surgery went well; however, they found a hard-to-reach stone near her pancreas that they didn't want to make a large incision to retrieve, so she has to stay in the hospital until Saturday - so they can retrieve it without an incision. It's been a tough week. My mom's surgery was Thursday, and my roommate and supposedly my best friend in the whole world had promised to sit with me the night before - because he knew I would be worried and restless. He went out and didn't come back home until after 1:00 in the morning. I was shocked. His selfishness is just beyond my scope of comprehension at this point. He's seeing a new girl that for some reason he tried to lie about - he's dated other girls since we split up two years ago - what do I care? He said that she's leaving for California in two weeks, so that was why he had to spend time with her. He barely knows her; he's known me for 13 years. I'm really sick of selfish people. I'm really sick of people that just try to use me and don't really want to talk to me and be there for me. He had planned to go out again tonight and tomorrow night. He came up to sit with me late tonight and leaned against the headboard and fell asleep - great company, huh? I decorated behind his ears with a variety of colors from my permanent marker set and covered him with an entire vial of Black Phoenix perfume oil in "Death Cap" - one of the stinkiest oils ever - mushrooms and dirt - no joke. I hope he wonders all day at work what the smell is and figures out eventually that it's coming from him. I was always there as a friend for him; I just don't understand.

He told me "I really like this girl." I think this qualifies as the most hypocritical statement that he has ever made. He interfered with my previous relationship in the following ways over the course of a year:

(1) Called my ex and hung up numeous times.
(2) Called me repeatedly when I was with my ex and sent hundreds of text messages.
(3) Downloaded a key-logger to my laptop while I was out of town and sent e-mails and forwarded e-mails from my business e-mail account to various people - including a girl that he claimed that my ex was still seeing.
(4) Forwarded private naughty pictures that were on one of my older computers to my ex while I was dating him (of me with another man). This failed of course, because I'm an honest person - I always tell the person I'm dating anything that comes up in conversation. I don't hide things.
(5) Called me all types of names and other emotional and verbal abuse while I was at home.
(6) Befriended one of my ex's past girlfriends and conspired with her to find information out that I may not have known and pass said information on to me.
(7) This crazy ex-girlfriend contacted me to harrass me.
(8) Tried to contact 2 other of my ex's past girlfriends and harrassed them.
(9) He stole money from me, so that he could try to make sure that I wouldn't have gas money to go out of town.
(10) He completely and purposefully neglected any bills that came up while I was gone - leading to the water being turned off for so many days (I only went out of town once for over a week) - that I had to "restart" the account at a cost of over $600.

Him: "I really like this girl."

I keep typing it, and I can't believe that he doesn't realize the irony in that statement. I really loved who I was with - he made my stomach flip - only a handful of people in my lifetime have done that. Admittedly, at the end, his own anger played into my decision to not come back - he just refused to get help - what can you do when someone won't help himself so that he doesn't hurt you? However, the entire year - situations were exascerbated and more emotionally fused because of my roommate's interference - not to mention the fact that he took years off of my life stress-wise. I don't understand why the hypocrisy of his statement won't sink in - I wish I could work with that type of denial.

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