I was shopping for groceries and a male probably about 10 years younger than me that worked at the store came over and told me that he loved my outfit. He told me that most people look the same and that I stood out in a good way (I had a black dress on and stripey tights and these super cute platform peep toe shoes that I found and caved on accidentally...hehe). He came back around when I was checking out and joked with the cashier about giving me a "special discount." I'm not very good at talking to strangers. If I'm on the phone, sending a message or e-mail, or in a club/bar type environment (i.e. drinking...hehe), then I'm pretty good at it - other times, not so much ;)
I wish I could fix things. I always envy people that have the types of minds that can see something malfunctioning and just naturally know how to fix it - or at least have an idea as to how to fix it. I see a legal issue or a problem with a company, and I know how to fix those types of issues. I can write one hell of a letter, but I can't even change a tire. I think you always envy the things that you can't do and sometimes forget all of the types of things that you can handle. I have to remind myself sometimes that there are things that I can do well.
I've been thinking lately about having too many opinions versus not having any at all. I have very strong opinions in certain issues: discrimination in any form, racism, sizeism, sexism, sexual discrimination, and disability/handicapped discrimination. I abhor hunting - I understand the rationale easier if a person eats what he/she catches instead of using the animals' parts as trophies. I believe that too often the "system" that helps people who truly need aid is criticized based on the manipulative activities of a few examples rather looking at the system and the people within it who need assistance as a whole. Too many people think that the government is just handing out money, which is not the case - the processes that one has to go through to receive assistance and the scrutiny is much more complicated than one criticizing it may understand. I believe in financial aid for people that need it, housing assistance, food assistance - and, above all, I believe that healthcare should be a right - not a privilege. No one should have to lose everything because he or she is sick - and no one should not be able to be treated for painful or terminal conditions because that person cannot afford health insurance. Further, I believe the people in need of assistance should have had access to medical care before it became a condition exacerbated to the point of an emergency when it could have been treated preventatively. I hate when people criticize something, before they research it or have all the facts. How can you have an opinion on something if you don't know what you're talking about? I hate bad drivers. I hate when people can't put their phones down - especially in movies - if they text all throughout a movie - it's just insane. I can't stand when people think that their time is somehow more important than mine and cut in front of me in line or do something unethical to save them time. If someone treats me unfairly or hurts my feelings, I'm going to say something about it or just not talk to that person any longer until that person cares enough to ask me what he or she has done and/or makes amends. But, with the little things, I just don't care - I'm not picky about unimportant things. I don't get mad if plans are changed - I don't care about going to a certain restaurant versus one I would have chosen if someone wants to go - I don't care about what goes on a sandwich. I especially don't care if someone else is doing something for me or being hospitable - that is a gift in itself - I'm never going to care about the specificities if someone is doing something *for* me without even being asked. I learned a long time ago that there are so many "big" things that happen that one has to deal with that the little things - they just don't matter and aren't worth even worrying about for a second.
After talking to my ex-boyfriend regarding a personal item that he still has, I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want in another person that I'll get close to.
(1) He has to be nice to me - he doesn't have to be a pushover (in fact, that would bug me - I like someone that can stand up for himself) - and he can be mean to other people when they deserve it (hehe), be sarcastic, tease me sometimes - but he still basically has to be nice to me. It can't be something that he tries really hard to do - it just has to come naturally. I'm so tired of running into men that can pretend to be nice for a very long time - and who aren't very nice at all. I seem to attract these types of men, and I'd like to break the pattern.
(2) He has to make me laugh. If someone has a wicked or teasing grin and can make me laugh, this is an irresistible combination for me.
(3) He doesn't have to say the right things at all the right times - but he has to say something - tell me some of the things that he thinks about or allow me to get to know him. I don't need a super romantic person - but, I'd like for him to at least be romantic or thoughtful sometimes - even if the effort is entirely clumsy, it's the effort that still counts.
(4) I like someone that thinks about things - not all the time but enough so that he is more than what is on the surface.
(5) I like it when someone seems to be interested and attracted to me - when he wants to know things about my past and who I am and can't let me walk by without touching me or get close to me without thinking about touching me (hehe - this sounds bad - in perverted or platonic ways :o ) If I'm doing all of "getting to know someone" type things and initating physical contact, then things are never going to work out.
(6) I like men that are sexual - my mom tells me that as you get older that sex isn't as important :P It's not the first thing that I look for - but, I'd like it to be part of a relationship. I love to be kissed, love foreplay - and all that comes after it. I guess I'm not old enough to be tired of sex yet (hehe)
(7) I like people who aren't predictable and who like to be adventuresome sometimes (in the sense that he wants to try new things). I like to be surprised every so often. I love the unexpected. I think life should be full of surprises.
I'm treating myself, finally, to a Villainess "Smack" today. It's a gentle moisturizing scrub - and you can choose up to 4 scents to layer out of 24 - I'm so excited - now I just have to watch the male...(err...mail) - hehe. The 4 scents I've chosen are:
Unearthed: Dark, loamy dirt and touch of antique patchouli.
Vanilla Bean: Perfection. Vanilla, neither rich, boozy, artificial nor creamed.
Chocolate Mousse: Smooth pools of decadent dark chocolate.
Coconut Milk: Cool coconut cream.
We'll see how it turns out :D
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