I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how words that people use - things that people say to one another - how much impact those words have on someone’s life. These words can make you look back and laugh, cry, feel unbelievably hopeless, get a jolt of self confidence, change a relationship or friendship forever, feel wistful, make you blush - I don’t think most people understand the importance of what they say (and don’t say for that matter). Just a small sample of some of the most memorable sentiments expressed to me:
(1) Who I thought was the love of my life told me that he was going to go on outings with his ex-girlfriend - and that she was too uncomfortable with the idea of meeting me - so he would go out with her by himself and wouldn’t allow me to go while I was living with him.
(2) Someone told my brother when I was around 17 that he liked me and thought I was really cool - but that he would never date me because I was overweight - he said this in front of me.
(3) A family member threatened to kill me if I called the police for something that he was doing. I wasn’t really going to call the police. Hopefully, he really wasn’t going to kill me (hehe) This one actually makes me laugh now, because it was so ludicrous.
(4) Someone told me that I would be a wonderful person to be loved by and to love.
(5) My best friend in the entire world told me that she wasn’t the one that screwed up my life. This hurt me more than anything ever said to me in my life - I was very sick at this point - more so than now and things were falling apart all around me, and I was losing so much. I couldn’t believe that all of the accomplishments that I had thought were completed prior to this time were seemingly forgotten - and how just me as who I thought was a good person just wasn’t enough to overcome a “screwed” up situation.
(6) Someone that I had a crush on for the longest time told me (after he was no longer otherwise engaged) that he used to think about me during sex with his wife.
(7) Someone told me that having an illness - and being sick - isn’t my fault.
(8) Someone told me that having a person be nasty to me - or being verbally abusive - isn’t a reflection of me - it’s the speaker’s problem and mental abnormalities and deficiencies due to that person’s addiction.
(9) A family member told me that if someone physically hurt me to a certain point that he would then go to jail because he would kill said person . (hehe - his way of telling me that he loves me in a non-squishy way)
(10) A friend that continuously tells me that I’m a worthwhile person - and who told me that he was more than fond of me ;)
(11) Someone that told me that he was in love with me before he even met me.
(12) Someone who told me that he had a discussion with someone about opening your heart and home to another - and it occurred to him that he needed to do something “tangible” to show me that he wanted me in his life - so he told me (and later showed me) that he had made room in half of his walk-in closet for my belongings and clothing.
(13) Someone who told me that I was the best kisser ever.
(14) Someone who told me that I helped her feel better about herself and that she was glad that she met me and interacted with me.
(15) Someone who told me that I “put up lots of walls” when people try to get to know me - but that he was still trying - when a lot of people might give up - and that he wanted to get to know me - even past the walls.
I wish more people thought just a tiny second before they spoke - or thought about what they have said later.
So many memories - you can get lost in them if you let yourself.
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