Wednesday, May 30, 2007

"I know the words...I know when to say them."


God, I've found yet another perfume oil company - these girls are so wicked! They just keep recommending and talking about things on the forums - I have to quit looking at websites...(hehe) Actually, a very sweet girl that I met on the Black Phoenix Perfume forum sent me a free tester of two scents from Heaven and Earth Essentials. My favorite one (and yes, I've already ordered a full bottle) is (you're going to laugh) Voodoo Punani - I knew I was going to like it because of the name (grin) - description follows:

Voodoo Punani (Love Oil)
Buttercream Frosting with Sandalwood and Saffron!

This scent is just *amazing* - no kidding. I can't quit smelling myself again (hehe). I also ordered a ton of samples - most eagerly awaited:

Pink
Bergamot, Sicilian Orange, Raspberry, Fig Leaves, Lily of the Valley, Licorice, Strawberry, Red Fruit, Cotton Candy, Barbe-a-Papa, Vanilla, Caramel, Musk, Wood and Powder.

Spirit
Toasted Sugar, Indi Sandalwood, Cardamom, Butter Cream and a shaving of Black Coconut.

I received 2 soaps that I ordered today and one is Villainess (I'm assuming one of their signature scents since it's the name of their site):

Characteristic Scent:Raw, smokey leather and sweet vanilla musk engulfed in a sheer haze of exotic florals - ylang, neroli, jasmine, lilac and tuberose.

My stupid roommate walked by the bathroom and told me that the soap smelled like crabs...to mess with me...now, he's totally ruining this soap for me (laugh). It's funny how suggestion can change a scent so much :P It does not smell like crabs...(laughing) It smells mostly like warm leather with a little bit of vanilla. If he's ruined this scent permanently, I'm going to kill him :P For the record, Villainess soaps are freaking awesome - even on men - I let the roommate borrow Pimp (a soap, you pervs...hehe), and I swear I wanted to ravage him on scent alone (grin).

I hate when you're interested in finding out about someone, but they just aren't interested in you. Why don't some people give you a chance? You know someone will really like you - but they just don't give you a fair shake. I guess you just don't appeal to that person enough or you're too "tough" to get to know. It seems like the people that I'm not super interested in always want to get to know me but people that I'm really interested in learning about won't take the time/effort to get to know me. I'm not hard to get to know; you just have to ask the right questions. I just don't sit around in normal conversations and offer 20 things you need to know about me. I like someone that takes an interest and asks things that he/she wants to know about you. Getting to know someone should come naturally (no pun intended...hehe) but it still shouldn't be so easy that you take it for granted and don't have to work a little for it. I like to work for things, people - hardly anyone ever appreciates things obtained easily.

I disappointed someone this week. I feel bad. A bunch of problems came up this week that went into my decision to tell him that he couldn't stay with me for the weekend - even though I was looking forward to it - but, I guess that deep down inside, one of the reasons is that I'm afraid. He hurt me in the past, because I don't let and/or many people just don't get *really* relationship-close to me - there are certain subjects that I won't talk about with anyone but I did with him. And, then he just disappeared for a long time and came back and wanted everything to be the same. It just can't be the same; I don't trust him anymore and can't again - so, I'll always hold a part of myself back now in my interactions with him. I'm trying to so hard not to repeat the mistakes and missteps of my past - damn, it's hard and annoying :P Most people I maintain casual friendships and/or flirtships with ;) I'm very picky about who I get close to.

I have to do a hearing at a City Council meeting next week. I'm super nervous already - trying not to think about it. I don't do well with public speaking - I talk too fast :P Usually, I can make a conscious effort and force myself to slow down - but, if I'm already nervous, I can't focus on what I'm doing and talk slowly. Ugh. If the hearing doesn't go the way I need it to go, then the last resort will be a lawsuit - so, I'm trying to put a lot of thought into it - not only for my client's sake - but also for mine so I don't have to go to Court later (hehe). Plus, it's just much more cost effective to get it resolved right now at this stage. (see, I have rational reasons...sticks out her tongue).

I cut my lip tonight...very disconcerting - what if I *need* my lips? (hehe)


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