Come play on my laptop ;)

The past few days have been really strange. I'm still waiting for the results from my EGD, so I'm nervous and just generally in a pretty rotten mood - which is unusual for me. My roommate closed my laptop too hard when he was mad and broke the LCD screen I have a desktop, but my laptop is near the bed so I use it a lot when I'm attempting to get to sleep. I borrowed my mom's laptop, and she had so much spyware on there that it kept crashing. I tried for hours and used a million spyware removal programs to attempt to fix it but it was a no go. It had at least 4 really nasty spyware programs - I could only get 3 out of the 4 and one of them had shut down the task manager and one of them was blocking the internet connection. I took it to Best Buy to be repaired; I've never had a computer problem that I couldn't fix somehow but my mom never even made restore disks - so, I couldn't format the computer and then put all the software back on. Two laptops down. My roommate gave me 75% of the money that he owes me to replace my laptop, so I went ahead and purchased one. It's another HP except this one is faster, has more storage memory, and has a 17 inch screen, so I'm trying not to drool on it ;) I have 2 job interviews coming up which makes me nervous. I hate it that a 10-20 minute meeting determines whether or not you can have that job. I'm not sure if I make that great of a first impression. I'll have to ask some of my friends and find out

High school guy called today 3 times and texted me once. I finally picked up the phone to kill my curiousity about what was so important. I forgot that his car was totalled a week ago, so, get this, he was actually calling me to see if I can take him to run errands. He hasn't even talked to me in over 2 weeks. People just have a lot of nerve. I actually said something this time - I tried to make light of it and told him that if he just kept calling me when he needed something (his family is out of town so can't help right now) that I would get a complex. (i.e. I can't believe you called me to ask for something when you haven't talked to me for weeks and the last time that you did talk to me you were rude to me.) People who think that they are smarter than everyone else is kill me. Do these people really think that others don't know what they are doing? I have absolutely no problem with helping friends, but I dislike being used. If you're going to use one for something, at least use her for sex like most people would - at least that way, you both get something out of it.

Crazy computer lady sent me an e-mail. I'm not even going to open it. I don't even want to know what it says.

My stomach was/is hurting incredibly bad tonight - one of the joys of having IBS. Usually, as long as I avoid a list of foods, I feel ok. I had a roast beef sandwich for lunch and can't remember the last time I've eaten roast beef. I guess that is what made me sick. Thankfully, my brother talked to me for about 20 minutes and then I talked to a friend of mine for about 45 minutes until the pain pill kicked in. I've never called him when I'm not feeling well, but he was actually pretty nice to me. He can be a real asshole, and he knows that he can - so it's hard imagining that he can be sweet too. At least for once someone surprised me in a good way. I'm going to paint with my brother at my mom's art studio all day tomorrow so tomorrow should be good and I'll try to get out of this funk

"Don't think cause I understand, I care...don't think cause I'm talking, we're friends..."

Ok, so I met this guy a few months ago. He is the older brother of one of my brother's friends that I grew up around also. There were 3 rumors about him in high school: (1) he was into bad things, (2) he was hung like a horse, and (3) he was a jerk. I knew all this going into the interaction (even though I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt because, hey, it's been 10 years) I also had talked to some people, and they said that he had went through a lot of hardships, like cancer and that perhaps he had changed. I didn't have high expectations (just maybe a casual friendship and extremely dirty sex? joking grin). I also wanted to meet him, because we went to the same high school and I've changed so much from then. It's like I wanted to show somebody - hey, I'm not a goody goody anymore and I can have fun, flirt, be silly and not be some shy wallflower. (I know, incredibly stupid). Anyway, I went over to his house the night before he was having outpatient surgery, because it sounded like he needed someone to sit with and talk to - I remember this feeling the night before I had my tonsillectomy. We talked for a few hours and kissed a couple of times - I actually had a good time. I like people that can make me laugh and he's silly and has a good sense of humor (and sexy, for that matter). Even after his surgery, he kept inviting me over and I would sit with him and talk, and I met his two children who were also pretty fun to hang around. During the third time I went over to his house, he was really sick. He was having a bad reaction to the pain medication and throwing up repeatedly. I offered to help and had to drive to the hospital and pick up a new prescription and then sit at Walgreens for an hour to have it filled. I had forgotten to get any money beforehand, so I paid for the medications which were around 45 bucks. I knew he wasn't working at this time (just while he was recovering from the surgery because he couldn't do his type of work while he was down), so I just told him that he could pay me back when he got back up on his feet (no pun intended...grin). He was completely nice to me until about the fifth time that I went over to his house. He was frustrated with his children and the fact that he couldn't move around as much as he wanted and mad because some guy promised to come buy some stereo equipment he had so he could have some pocket money and the guy wasn't showing back up. First, he played solitaire for about an hour and a half while I just sat there. He kept saying "you're bored, aren't you" and telling his children that they (him included) we're probably boring me. I wanted to leave at this point, because I think it's stupid to invite someone over and then do something else. I never understand that - it's the equivalent of someone that calls you while he's playing video games and not paying attention - one of my pet peeves. I didn't want his kids to feel like I was being rude, because he's telling them that they are all probably boring me - so I felt kind of stuck. My phone keeps going off that I have a msg - it's Saturday night and one of my friends is looking for me and wants me to hang out with him and another friend. Since he was playing solitaire and kept running outside to try to sell the stereo equipment, I was answering the text msgs - usually I wouldn't - I think that's rude when you're with someone else. After he sits down, he doesn't talk to me like usual and then starts calling random people on his phone leaving msgs and telling them how bored he is and that he's "bored as hell" and "bored to death." Note: I am sitting right beside him. At this point, I'm just pissed. I put on my shoes and told him that I need to leave and that he didn't need to walk me out. He walked me out anyway and when he got outside, he tells me that he'll probably try to ride his motorcycle the next day and he'll stop by my house - I was like "why, so I can bore you to death at my house too?" It takes me a lot to directly say something like that to someone, but that was in the top 3 of the rudest ways I've been treated in my entire life. He sends me a text saying that he's sorry for being an ass, and I accept his apology, because I try to give people 2 chances (I used to give just once chance) and indicates that he'll call the next day. Well, I didn't talk to him for about a week and then he texts me and I call him back and he's not really paying attention. He tells me he's watching a movie, and I tell him that I can call back because I don't want to keep him from watching the movie with the conversation. He tells me in a smart ass way that I'm not keeping him from watching the movie. I make some smart ass comment back about how he told me that he was such a nice guy, and he told me that was a lie (he was joking but definitely truth in humor in this instance). Ok, so that's enough of that. He called 3 more times about 2 weeks later. I did text him back today, and he called. He was in some type of car accident, so he's in pain again. I'm fairly certain he just used me as someone to talk to when he didn't have anything else to do when he was hurting. He's also mad, because the guy that finally bought the stereo equipment is trying to short him 10 bucks out of 50. He's telling me that he shouldn't be so nice and that people never are fair and pay him back. I'm just in shock and make a smart ass comment about how people suck and that you can't ever trust people - even if you help them - that people never appreciate the nice things that you do for them. He doesn't even catch this - I'm just amazed. He just starts telling me that this is what he gets for being such a nice guy, and that he needs to stop being so nice to people. (He's serious about this.) Needless to say, the conversation didn't last long - he did indicate that he was sore and alone - probably a hint that he needed company. There are, fortunately, plenty of people that like my company when they are not sick, so I really don't have time for that - I just don't understand him at all.

On three side notes, one, the sex was never what it was supposed to be - it was just once when he still wasn't able to move around really well. He could have at least stayed around long enough to hand out the "amazing sex" that he was notorious for (laugh); Two, the night that he was such an ass, my two male friends took me to a strip club and I had a ball. The women liked being tipped by other women more than the men, and I had a drink that I had never tried - "Sex with an Alligator." That was only the 2nd time in my life that I've ever been to a strip club - and I love new and newer experiences. Three, I knew he had a reputation for being a "bad boy" in the beginning. I just never really saw as much of the "bad boy" as I would have liked (laugh). It's much easier having an interaction end like this one when you knew how it could end ;)

"The trick is to keep breathing..."

Well, the EGD turned out pretty much as anticipated - although, to be fair to myself, I did get almost a full night of sleep this time beforehand and I was less scared than the first time. They couldn't get the scope down my throat again, so I have to go Friday and have it done in the hospital, so I can be placed under general anesthesia. The doctor tried to mind-trick me and tell me that he was giving me more of the two medicines that they administer to sedate you, but I knew he didn't give me any more than he gives any of his other patients. The last 2 times that I was sedated with the two medicines, I can't even remember the color of doctor's shirt that did the procedure and had to have help putting my shoes and bra on (my mom finally gave up and just put my bra in my purse that time...grin) The spray they use in your throat lasts hours after the procedure and takes away your gag reflex - which is kinda cool b/c usually I can trigger my gag reflex occasionally even by brushing my back teeth. (I keep thinking only if you had this spray applied when you felt well...I'm sure you could find something to do that would be more interesting...hehe). My mom even took me out to a nice dinner and shopping the night before to keep my mind off things. I've never tried a martini, so, of course, I did. These rare daring (stupid?) moments that arise from having some foreign procedure or event scheduled the next day. It was really good actually, the one I chose, it was Godiva White Chocolate Liquer and Absolut Vodka. After half of it, the room was spinning (empty stomach). So, I had my martini and a half of loaf of the bread they bring out before your entree (laugh) I think I mentally persuaded myself that the bread would combat the alcohol; I finally just got warm after about 20 minutes. I can handle warm

I've only had two true girl-friends (yes, dash intended on this one...laugh) in grade and high school. Most of my close friends have always been male; I'm not sure what that says about me. Girls never really liked me that much. I think it's because I grew up with my brother and all of his friends around. My best grade school friend was much more daring than I; I was a prude until about 5 years ago. She moved away when I was 14 I believe. My best friend in high school also moved away, and with the exception of one more brief encounter, I haven't really heard from her. She was also more daring than I was at that time ;) I know there was some type of altercation, but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was about. She found my name on classmates.com and sent me an e-mail. It's weird talking to someone after so many years. She's married and has two adopted children now (they are adorable) and lives in Colorado. I have a difficult time with long distance interactions. It's appreciated to have close friends, but it's hard when that person can't be around you when you need that person or vice versa. I wonder if we'll have anything in common now. It appears that she is "calmer" than she used to be, and I'm more daring than I used to be - it almost seems like I'm going backwards. Of course, I should have went through this stage in high school and college - but I was just so shy. I'm shy now too but not nearly as bad as I used to be. Maybe one day I'll strike some sort of balance.

I see life as a journey mostly about learning who I am. I don't think I'll ever figure out entirely who I am - mainly, because this seems to change every day - not typically drastically but just subtle changes - maybe in how I see something or a new thought that I have about a past event. I don't ever want to quit learning; I think that's the moment that you get old mentally. My grandmother was so afraid of computers that she would not even look at one. I can't imagine being afraid of learning something. I can put up sheetrock now for god's sake - I wouldn't have ever thought that I could do something like that. I'm completely non-handy in the handyperson sense (laugh) Although, the skill of my hands in other areas....

I miss some of the parts of myself that used to be - like the fact that I used to believe in love much more than I do now. I don't believe in the "fairy tale" and "Cinderella" type of love like I used to when I was younger. Love to me is now more about compassion - someone that wants to talk to me when I'm not talking about sex and "fun" things, someone that sits with me when I'm not feeling well - it's the little things to me that count the most. I think I've only felt the relationship type of love probably 4 times in my life (2 of these times were extremely naive and not sure if I even want to include them). It worries me that none of these worked out. The only way that I know that I'm really "falling" for someone is when I think about that person more than I should and memories of being with that person - in all types of capacities - are memories that I bring to mind when I want to smile.

My mind is obviously all over the place tonight ;) I'll just blame it on the medicines they gave me this morning to sedate me (laugh) I truly have been groggy all day. My belly button is still a little sore and red I'm hoping that I'll be a quick healer

The crazy computer woman had to go to the doctor and be put on anxiety medications and her white blood cell count is low - so something may be wrong w/her. I told my mother last week that she needed medicaton for her anxiety (my mom that I was joking and being sarcastic...but I really did mean it). I knew when she was making all of the calls to my house that she was having panic attacks. If you ever have even just one, you always remember it and always can recognize it. I'm afraid to go back and read the letter that I wrote to her with her bill; I don't want to feel guilty. I'm not ever really directly rude (unless someone really deserves it), and in her situation, I really did write the letter objectively and wasn't blatantly rude. I'm not feeling guilty, damnit

Piercing in chiq

I plucked my feathers and had my belly button pierced tonight. Go me. It's a turquoise barbell with a small glittery stone on one end. I'll take a picture when it's not swollen and I'm not exhausted. Two things swayed me. One, I have to have yet another gastro test next week - the EGD - where they put a scope down your throat and check your esophagus - they have to keep a check on mine b/c of acid reflux. They have already tried this test on me once and the dr said I kept interferring with the insertion of the scope. (I don't remember a thing - they dope you up with pain medicine and a sedative that produces temporary amnesia). I just can't wait to try it again I always feel more daring when I'm worried about something bigger.

Two, I was reading on the Internet trying to see if the piercing was going to hurt, and I read some posts by 13 through 16 year old girls that were worried or didn't think it was ok to get a belly button ring if they were fuller-figured. Ok, that totally annoyed me. If someone is staring at any of your body parts for more than what is necessary - that person is probably doing so for a reason. In my experience, if someone is getting naked with you and into it, that person is typically into you and how you look. If you want a tattoo or a piercing - just get it - good god. It makes me so mad that the problems with being fuller-figured have obviously still not evolved *at all* since I was in junior high and high school. Once I had a spiteful - put it in your face reason to get it done - it overrode the fear (I just love psyching myself up...grin) It actually didn't hurt at all. It just burned a little afterwards and is a little tender now.

Insert witty title here...

The crazy computer woman decided to have a "friend" help her install her dsl router for her and "fix the other problems remaining with the computer." The only problems remaining with the brand new computer were all based on user error. I can't wait until she starts calling him three times a day criticizing the way he set up one of her programs or after she "fixes" the computer by restoring it and deleting all of the settings that he probably spent an hour inputting. I'll never get to find out what happens - that part is kind of sad.

I sent her an e-mail very nicely explaining the differences between memory on her computer. I explained to her what RAM is, what her speed is, what her memory with regard to saving programs, songs, picture files, etc is - I was super nice, and then let her know that when she had the dsl hooked up that she would be amazed at how fast everything would be. She sent an e-mail back 3 days later telling me that she had some other person install the dsl. I never have to go back to her house again; although, the tone of the e-mail made it seem like I had done something wrong which really, to put it eloquently, pissed me off. The only thing that went wrong with her computer is when she restored it and erased all of the settings that had already been changed so her e-mail and internet connection were set up correctly and functioning. When she restored it - she deleted the software and drivers that I installed for her printer; thus, her printer wasn't working any longer either until I went back and did everything again.

I made her bill tonight. I'm still not charging her what I should, but considering that I was just going to ask for a small painting but now I really don't want anything to remind me of her, at least I'm asking for some type of monetary compensation. I also composed a letter explaining how disappointed that I was that the interaction didn't go as well as it should. I added some sentiments in the letter that I probably shouldn't considering that she is my mom's friend, but, one, my mom got me into this, and two, I am really sick and tired of people getting away with doing spoiled and inconsiderate things to others and not being called on it. The old me would have just let her behavior go; the newer (older? ugh) me realizes that if I want to tell someone that means absolutely nothing to me in terms of a future relationship exactly how she acted and how it affected me, including me losing two nights of sleep, then I can just do that if I want to. Now, I just have to get the courage to put it in the mail

I had to move my pretty balloon to the other side of the room. I couldn't figure out why one of my cats that always stays in my room was hiding in the closet. She was afraid of the big balloon - maybe if I get bored later -I'll chase her around the room with it (*Of course,* I'm kidding) I remember having to read "The Scarlet Letter" in high school and then again in college, and in a part of the book, the Priest started going a little nutty and kept having really evil thoughts, things like teaching children bad words or cursing in front of the members of his clergy. I do this a lot; I'll have really evil thoughts about what I could do or say to someone in my mind. Although, I never act upon any of these - it always surprises me or makes me wonder where the thoughts came from. Most of them are funny - some worry me. I blame my brother - he has a sick mind and I grew up with him

My roommate got a new tattoo tonight. I only have one tattoo; I think he has about 6 by now. Most of them he had done and I had mine done at 7th Street Tattoo which I think does really good work. However, they were really unprofessional tonight. His tattoo was a fairly simple one - and outline of a demon and two women, just outlines, from the cover of a Black Label Society CD and then 4 letters inside the demon head. He has a really large dragon tattoo on his arm that one of their best artists, who is no longer w/them unfortunately, did on his arm and it was approximately $400. They were obviously busy and just quoted us a really high price so (1) they would either make an inordinate amount of money if they had to do the tattoo or (2) so we would just leave. They quoted him $450 which was pretty funny. We went to The Psychadelic Butterfly and he had it done for around $130 which was a much fairer price; he was willing to pay up to $200. I don't know why tattoo parlours have these types of attitudes. If customers have spent so much money in a place and recommend that place to others, you woud think that would be worth at least that business treating repeat customers fairly. I was very disappointed, because if I ever get a second tattoo - I wanted to get it there. I want a belly ring, but I'm having trouble talking myself into it I am the biggest pain chicken. I had to take 2 sedatives just to sit through my tattoo, but at least I got it - I've been needle phobic since I was about four years old. The tattoo he got is not bad; I thought a really long time on mine. It's something that is going to be on my body for the rest of my life, abscence painful removal - so I made sure that I chose something that I liked. I'm so tired that I have no idea if I'm even making sense anymore - giving up while I still think I'm ahead - you're on your own for a title (laugh).

Cupid takes a bow...

I had a good Valentine's Day except for the fact that I have to get up early. I was going to just take a hot bath and turn in, but I thought for once that I would write about good things instead of only writing when I'm upset about something or griping ;) I got to get all dressed up and was taken out to dinner and was given a bottle of perfume and a lip gloss set that I really wanted. My favorite perfume in the whole world, the only perfume that I've ever almost used all of, is Aquolina Pink Sugar which does indeed smell like sugar. I got the Chocolate version tonight which is new. It smells so good that I put it on after my bath, so I can smell it some more (grin). I also got a sweet card yesterday and found a large rose balloon from a sexy friend tied to my upper deck outside my bedroom door. It's been hard keeping my spirits up lately during the endless job search, so I definitely needed today. My cable modem keeps blinking; I can't play spades online or sit in a chatroom when I'm trying to fall asleep. Comcast tried to fix it today and couldn't yet - they are supposed to be back tomorrow. You never realize how much you use something until it's not available to use.

I had to stop at Walgreens on the way home just to see everyone scrambling for last minute presents. (I actually needed Advil....grin) Every person in line had a teddy bear and roses that looked like they had seen better gardens ;) I know it's the thought that counts ;) The Valentine aisle did look like the end of WW2 though. It was a little sad, because you could tell most of the men weren't just last minute shoppers - they were getting off of work at 8:00/9:00pm at night and still in uniforms. The moon was huge tonight - it looked like one of the fake moons that you see in movies that you know is a movie moon because the moon never really looks that big. I ran into two attorneys that I worked with previously. There is this friend of my roommate that drives an old beat-up huge boat of a car and for some reason I or my roomate only see him when something good and/or weird is about to happen. I saw his car tonight. Maybe something good will happen ;) I'd keep my fingers crossed, but, hey - I may need my fingers (You didn't think I'd get through a whole blog w/out one awful comment, did you? Have you learned nothing...grin)

Bisexuality, high school, and insomnia.

I woke up with a cat practically in my face (god, that sounds really bad ), and the chances of me being able to get back to sleep are practically nil. I'm taking muscle relaxers for a pulled muscle, and they are either (1) giving me incredibly strange dreams or (2) making me remember incredibly strange dreams that I've had all along and just never knew it consciously. In my dream, my school was giving some type of award for pictures taken of its students. There was a picture of my face that showed up on the screen when they were giving awards that did not look like me - my face was drawn and suffering but still oddly interesting. I was given an award for $1000 in my dream for the picture, and it was mentioned that I was suffering from some type of cancer (which I am not suffering from in reality as far as I know) when this picture was snapped. Later in the presentation, a picture of me came up on the screen where I was kissing a woman. The award was taken away, and the assembly spokesperson stated that my award was withdrawn (I warned you that this was incredibly strange ). Of course, this is probably the part of the dream that I enjoyed the most where I got to go after the school for taking away my award based on a picture that had nothing to do with the picture that was to appear in the school commemortative photo book. I was filing a greviance and finding an attorney specific to this fact situation when I woke up. I also remember seeing some girl that I went to school with shaving her legs in front of a group of other women toward the end of the dream - I have *no* idea where this came from. When I did wake up, I remembered that I wasn't very nice to this girl in high school. I don't recall precisely why she annoyed me so much - just bits and pieces, but she really drove me crazy. She was only in one of my classes, my art class, and I remember her forgetting her art supplies all of the time and trying to borrow mine. And, I also can see her standing behind me a lot and asking me how I did something or just watching me - which really bugs me. I don't like to paint or write if someone is watching me - it completely halts any type of creative process that I have conjured up. There was a man (boy, then? laugh) that I was friendly with in my art class. I realized later that I had a crush on him, but I didn't realize that at the time. I know that I wasn't the only one that this girl bothered, because he used to stand behind her and pretend to maim her with various "pretend" weapons, like taking the pin out of grenade and throwing it or holding up a gun and killing her, to make me laugh. Maybe one day all of the reasons that she annoyed me will come to me. There was another girl, Amber, and this is the only other person that I can remember being rude to in school. This is only so unusual, because I was so quiet in school - in junior high and high school so most people thought I was a snob because I didn't talk very much. I actually was just very shy. I think I didn't like Amber, because she was always trying to get my best friend to like her more than me. (You don't realize how petty the things you worried about in school were until you get older.) She lied a lot trying to make people like her. She brought a picture to school one day of herself with a picture of a blur at a party. The person next to her was completely out of focus, and she said that was her boyfriend. She was obviously lying when probed about other details about him. I made some rude comment about which blur she was indentifying as her boyfriend. I've always had a problem with people that lie. Maybe it's just people that lie poorly. If she would have at least had a good lie. Now that I think back, I also accused her of pocketing an eyeshadow compact that I brought to school one day that my mom let me borrow that was pricey. She borrowed the compact, and I couldn't find it for months. I do feel guilty about this - I found it, years later, in an old purse. I was always switching purses around. I felt a slight twinge of guilt about that when I found it; I feel more guilty now. Maybe she really was just desperately trying to find friends - she didn't have very many.

I hate when people call you just when they are bored. I had a friend contact me today and then just drop the interaction - probably when he found something better to do. I hate when people don't talk to you for weeks and then contact you and ask *you* where you have been. I can't figure this out. Were you supposed to contact this person to show that person you've been thinking about him/her? (Assuming, you have) Is this some type of test that I keep failing? Or, are these people just typical selfish people that only want to talk to me when they have nothing better to do? I like people that want to talk to me when they are in good moods also. I don't like to just be sought out when someone is in a bad mood and needs to be cheered up or is bored out of his/her mind. Although, I have no problem with true friends calling me or trying to get ahold of me when that person needs to talk. In fact, that is the second person that has done the same thing to me this week. I tried one of two different reactions with each (I actually felt both reactions - annoyance and huh, weird, I wonder why this person is contacting me after weeks of non-interaction). Neither lent any insight into why the person was doing that. The first one - I responded and told him that he it just didn't seem like he was interested in me and pointed out that there are other people that are interested in talking to me. I had invited him over to watch a movie a few times, and he told me he was tired one night - not a problem - totally understood the feeling. And, then he didn't contact me the substitute night but called the morning after. He suggested a movie that he wanted to see in the *first* place. I hate playing these types of games. The other person - I just responded via text message from my phone and told him that I haven't been up to anything (...grin) and asked how he was doing. He responded once more, and then me, and then he just dropped it. So, this approach didn't work either. I don't think either approach worked, because neither of these people really care if I talk to them or not. I'm just one of those "last resort" people when you have absolutely nothing else to do. I like to tell myself it's just because those people miss talking to me when they try to quit I know, I know...but it makes me feel better. Perhaps, I've bored myself back to sleep now. I'll type quietly so I don't wake you up

Snow Job

Ok, too cool...finally, one good snow. It's fun while it's here, but it never lasts long (no pun intended ). I have all the blinds pulled and one of the windows open and a couple of my cats are playing try to catch the snowflakes. There are only a few things to do on a day like this one, and all of them involve getting warm

The saga continues...

Ok, so she asked if she could call to ask me questions about the computer and how to use certain programs. That would not be a problem. She started calling my house again at 8:59 a.m. today. She is essentially calling to complain. She doesn't remember how to tilt them monitor - my god, you just put your hands on it and move it. She wants to know if I could sell the monitor on ebay, so that she can get another kind that will be safer on her neck. I have no idea what type of monitor would be safer for her neck. The next phone message left was after she spoke to the man that helped her purchase her Mac five years ago who informed her that the reason her e-mail is moving slowly is because I did not purchase a computer with enough RAM. She HAS NOT INSTALLED ANY ADDITIONAL programs on her new computer. She is only using the e-mail program at this time. Her e-mail gets to her slowly, because she has DIAL-UP. I do not know how else to explain this to her. I am losing whatever patience I had left. If she leaves another psychotic message, I am going to call and explain that she is upsetting my stomach with the stress that she is putting me under and that she is calling to complain and not ask questions about how to use the computer. She is asking if she needs to add memory to a new computer that she hasn't even installed ANYTHING on yet. It takes a lot to make me angry, but I am definitely at the point of confrontation. One more phone call, and I am going to leave her a message that I cannot handle dealing with her any further. I have never seen someone with such nerve. If she wanted a $1000 computer, she should have given me a larger budget to work within - I personally do not buy cheaper computers. I don't buy cheap computers or cheap make-up - everything else is negotiable. You have to have your priorities ;)

If I'm a little bit of everything, does that mean that I'm essentially nothing?

Ok...so today has been stressful. My mother got me into this situation where I have to help one of her friends switch over to a PC from her Mac, and I also had to purchase it for her. She didn't want to spend over $500.00, and she wanted new - and I think I did pretty well. I ended up with a Compaq Presario and a 17 inch LCD monitor w/built in speakers (she has limited desk space). This woman is absolutely insane. First, I showed her 3 scenarios of computers that she could afford. She chose the Compaq, and I had 3 auctions set up on ebay to purchase one of them. She calls and says that some friend told her that Hewlett Packard was a good brand - which I had already told her. I've had all HP's. But, I had also told her that HP *owns* Compaq now. So, then she changes her mind, after all the auctions have expired, and says that I can use my judgment. I get the computer to her house and hook it up. It takes 2 hrs to get it running, and I show her how to use it. It took an hour on the phone w/Alltel to get her dial-up (yes, dial-up) running. When I left, she can get to the e-mail, connect to the Internet, and type letters and print them out. She starts calling my house around 8 p.m. She claims that everything on the screen "disappeared" and that the computer is a lemon. She further claims that the computer has "crashed." Moreover, she doesn't want the monitor b/c it looks "cheap." I can't return the monitor; I've already sent the rebate in for it. I ignore her calls, because she is acting crazy and I just don't feel like dealing with it. I also took her Mac home, because she claimed it had "crashed" and she wants me to fix it. She's already asking, 2 hours after I took it home, mind you, if I had fixed it. She calls my house the next morning at 6:50 a.m. with the same complaints that the computer is a lemon and has crashed and that the monitor looks "cheap." 6:50 a.m.! I'm lucky if I'm asleep by then. I get over there today and the computer is booting up fine, but she has "restored" the computer thus deleting the software I installed for the printer and the new Internet settings for her dial-up and the settings for her e-mail to work properly. It takes another couple of hours to get everything back to how it was the day before. She also apologizes for her nutty behavior. I had left a slightly rude message the previous afternoon, because at this point even my temper is shot.

She has also bought a 3-in-one printer. After calibrating and cleaning the printer multiple times, it still will not print correctly. I tell her that she will have to return the printer. She tried to blame it on the computer. I tried to explain to her that the fact that the printer was printing blurred images had nothing to do with the computer, and that it was even doing that when I used the "copy" feature. Not to mention she made me get the printer out of her car and put it back into her car when she finally understood that she had to take it back. The first day I came to her house, she wanted me to help her move huge artist canvases to store them in her basement. I do not like people that treat you like you like you're an employee when you are just trying to help that person with something. The phone rang an hour after I got home today; I didn't even want to look just in case something has already happened. By the way, the Mac booted up seamlessly. There is nothing wrong w/it.

I have to go over one more time next week to hook up the dsl for her that I finally talked her into. She wants to send pictures of her artwork to galleries via e-mail; dial-up just would have taken forever to do that. I'm already dreading it.